Masculinity Snapshot
Disclaimer: This post is primarily for the men.
Wendell Berry’s novel Jaybe Crow is one of my favorite stories. It’s a story about a man who is lost in the world. He has no purpose or place to root himself. That is until he moves back home to his small town to take a position as the town barber. And as the town barber he finds himself host to a particular kind of culture—a male culture. His barber shop, like all barber shops once were, is a bastion of masculinity. It is a culture led by and populated by men.
In our day there are still male dominated cultures. Wrestling, fantasy football leagues, prisons, just to name a few. But how about church? The Church isn’t typically thought of as a bastion of masculinity. But it should be. Because Jesus is masculine. And men are called to follow Jesus. And when you follow Jesus you become like Jesus (Rom 8:29). Therefore your average local church should be full of masculine men.
What might biblical masculinity look like? Well, let me offer a snapshot from a biblical story.
Genesis 14 is a story in the Bible that celebrates heroic masculinity. It is about a guy named Abram who rescues his nephew who was taken captive as a prisoner of war by an oppressive alliance of Eastern armies. Abram gathers 318 trained men and makes a 100 mile trek through harsh terrain to overtake the armies, defeats them in the middle of the night, and rescues his nephew, along with the captive women and children.
Abram is a father. He is a rescuer. He is a warrior. He is a man of virtue. All of these qualities point us to God who possesses them perfectly.
So men, what I want to do is simply put in front of you a brief portrait of masculinity. This isn’t meant to be exhaustive. It’s simply meant to put steel in your spine and give you a shot of encouragement today.
First, masculinity and manhood in general must be initiated. This is not happening in our broader culture. Instead of boys becoming men, boys transition into an eternal adolescent imbo that no one expects them to get out of. So fathers, mothers, initiate your young men into manhood. Teach them masculinity. Start by reading them stories that celebrate and illustrate Christ centered masculinity. Their future wives will thank you. Their future daughters will thank you. Their future congregations will thank you.
Initiation happens through a time of testing. Hard times create strong men. Boys need crucible experiences to be refined in. And they need to be led through those crucible experiences under the loving guidance of a father. Like all Christians are led through hard times under the loving guidance of our Heavenly Father. This means you need to give your boys a safe environment to fail. They will need to experience suffering while still tethered to a stable and loving home. Because this will prepare them for the suffering that will happen to them when they are outside of the safety of the nest.
Secondly, a man is someone who strives to embody masculine virtue. Part of being a man of faith is being a man who makes every effort to be virtuous (2 Pt 1:5). There are so many virtues to focus on so let me just point out a few from the Abram story.
Virtue 1: A masculine man is a courageous man. Abram set his face toward hardened armies like a grim warrior king, determined to confront them in battle. He was fully aware of the danger, the risk, the potential for failure. He went for it anyway, full send, because that’s what men do. Courage is required in a man who sets his face to a just and noble cause. A man of courage faces danger because it's worth it. The weak and vulnerable of this world need protecting. Therefore the world needs men of courage.
Virtue 2: A masculine man is a sacrificial man. Abram not only traveled over 100 miles to rescue his nephew. He went the grueling distance, depriving himself of sleep and comfort, putting himself in harm's way, to also bring back all of the stolen possessions the armies had been plundering. He demonstrated tremendous sacrifice. This was an extreme inconvenience for Abram. And yet that’s what he did. Masculine men intentionally inconvenience themselves for the sake of serving and securing other people’s flourishing.
Virtue 3: A masculine man is a generous man. Abram not only rescued Lot and the plundered possessions, he gave the plundered possessions back to their owners. He generously relinquished the spoils of war. An extremely countercultural thing to do. Most conquering heroes keep the spoils of war. But not Abram. He gave back the treasures to Sodom and Gomorrah, who were wicked cities at that. So here’s a generous man. Not just generous toward his own kin, but generous to the wicked. Abram was a man who knew that all of the world belonged to the creator God, therefore he lived open handedly and generously with his possessions.
Virtue 4: A masculine man is a chivalrous man. This is old school. But notice how the text specifically says Abram rescued the women. Despite a feminist culture, it is still God’s design for men to be strong for the sake of the weaker vessel. A masculine man shows greater honor and care for the women in his life. In your family. In your church. Protect your ladies. Honor them. Keep them pure and undefiled. And that includes undefiled by you. Rule yourself and master your passions so that you don’t harm the daughters of God.
All this talk of manhood and masculinity might poke at some of your own insecurities. Some of you did not have a dad. Some of you were not initiated. Some of you were never told how to love a woman, how to treat your kids, how to belong to a local church. That’s ok. Like Abram, your heavenly Father is your Father. And it's never too late for him to show you the ropes. God the Father invites you to start now. You just have to surrender to him. So what are you waiting for? Be a man. God will help. Others are counting on you.